| | I still could use some critique on the first couple parts of The Cerulean Empress. It drives me nuts that I can't find a single person who'll pick it apart and give me some serious feedback. There's Brittney, of course, but I try not to bother her with stuff TOO much, especially after she's helped pick apart my academic papers all year. I am well aware of a few things that need to be fixed in the first two parts, especially stylistically and consistency-wise, but I don't have any real concrete opinions on any bits I might not find bad. The copy I made at Lulu should be here next week, so I can go through and make new edits, but I'm sure I won't have as much of a fresh eye as someone who's never seen the story before. And since I can't get any beta readers on FictionPress to even e-mail me back, I'm appealing to my small pool of generally anonymous readers here.
Oh yeah, while I'm at talking about writing, I have a poem up for sale here: http://www.lulu.com/content/multimedia/asterisks-not-stars/7162844. It's called "Asterisks, not Stars" and costs 30 cents to download (it includes a cute little cover and a short essay explaining the meaning of the poem--I thought it needed it, and possibly it did). If you click on my name, I have some other stuff (writing projects and some photography stuff) there for sale, too, if not only because I'm a poor college kid.
Then I have random stuff you can read at http://www.echofield.wordpress.com. It's a sampler blog with beginnings of fiction, a few poems, and some full essays. Comments would be greatly appreciated, and the stories that continue on other pages have links to the rest of them. Here's a list of the stuff on there, even though it's the first thing you'll see anyway:
Living With Lactose Intolerance
I am only one of approximately 30 to 50 million people in the United States who suffer from lactose intolerance. (FBCH, 1999) This paper is mostly written for those who have lactose intolerance, to discuss ways in which to cope with this deficiency, but I hope that it may also help educate those who don't know what lactose intolerance is, or maybe know someone who lives with it.
The Fall of Heaven: Part I
A devil came into my store the other day, an angel in tow. He held the child by an invisible but heavy chain, dragging him like a rag doll across the threshold. This devil bought some candles, some sweets, disposable lighters, and a pack of Marlboro Lights. The look on the child’s face as he was led through the store was pathetic in its complacency; I could tell in his eyes that he had given up a long time ago, whatever dreams he may have had of freedom.
Selected Poetical Readings
Includes “A lion lies in the church as the flood waters rise,” “Anti-Chemistry,” “Death of an Angel,” “Cinderella | alleredniC,” “The Piper,” “Great Things,” and “Graphite Innuendo.”
The Cerulean Empress: 1
Marina Calder, a young witch from a little village called Talythia, is whisked away to become the bride of Prince Brennan Zeraphath, a supposed descendant of Mephistopheles and heir to a bleak, industrialized empire. Marina becomes entangled in a web of lust, love, and duty as the empress of a land said to have spawned from the Devil himself.
Морая Кошка: The Sea Cat: October 9, 1828 (1)
Dear Yuriy,
This is Shurik Kalmakoff. Do you remember me? We were once best friends—we were close enough to have been brothers—in Vladivostok, Russia, years ago, until you left for Stoke-on-Trent in 1821. I hope to come to see you soon, and although my own tale is long, it is not so important that it cannot wait until we’ve docked at harbour in Britain. I am a sailor now, and have so been since after you left Russia, and as the end of our voyage is near, I want to tell you the tale of my foster father, employer, and Kapitan.
Jake Morrigan’s story: I-1
As the eyes and ears of Jord turned fully away from their precious oil territory, those of their envious neighbors focused in on Xidelstat. Two country-states—Barisma and Kadesh—directed their military caravans into the steppe in hopes of claiming it for themselves, once their leaders were sure that Nikita Roke and the President, Timbre McEachern, both had all of their attention on the new technology threats from Mortadel.
La chute de la maison des Moreau.
"The Fall of the House of the Moreaus." Yes, the story is in English. It takes place in France though. When the biographer Burke Desjardins sat down with me in his personal study, I was immediately stricken by a tension that tugged at my chest. He was nice enough; when I took my place in the cushioned chair across from him, he shook my hand cordially and asked me how I was doing. But I could tell he wanted to get down to business. He wanted to know about what happened to the Moreau family, and that was all he wanted to know.
“Key” Evidence – Beginning with Link to Buy
“You didn’t have to take me to dinner, you know,” Kaden assured me again. Kaden Paolo had been my best friend for years, and he had just turned 26 years old a week ago. Chaos had broken loose for me that day and I had to miss his party. So I promised him I’d take him to eat at Olive Garden, and so there we were that Friday night.
Physician-Assisted Suicide: Compassion, Not Crime
Although the terms “physician-assisted suicide” and “euthanasia” have been used interchangeably, there is a distinct difference between the two. The name “physician-assisted suicide” may be self-explanatory: it is a patient dosing themselves on medicine prescribed by their attending physician while the doctor is not present in the patient’s room, and it is the patient’s decision whether to use the drugs or not, and when. (“Physician”) [...] In this paper I am going to address physician-assisted suicide specifically.
Falling Awake
First two pages (all I have written so far) only. It was a cool Saturday in the spring of 1998. The birds in the trees were singing happily as the branches swayed gently under the pressure of the wind. A few white clouds drifted lazily across the sky, betraying no indication that it would rain today.
The Devil’s Backbone – Prologue
Based on the Spanish-language film of Guillermo del Toro, El Espinazo del Diablo. What is a ghost? A tragedy condemned to repeat itself time and again? An instant of pain, perhaps. Something dead which still seems to be alive; an emotion suspended in time, like a blurred photograph—like an insect trapped in amber.
What to Do With a Gun
Only the first page, sorry! She gave me the handgun and locked the door. She and her four compadres watched me expectantly from outside. The room I was in was like a glass box—it was only about six by three feet, only the ceiling and the floor opaque. The only light was from the adjoining room. It smelled like basil, the only sound the incessant buzzing you hear in your mind when it’s silent.
Twittering and the News
Twitter is a social networking (or “micro-blogging”) service that connects users and allows them to interact with each other by reading and writing posts, called “tweets,” up to 140 characters in length. Now Twitter is gaining attention as the newest way for news organizations to reach younger and more technology-oriented consumers.
Right now I think I'm really trying to focus on The Cerulean Empress, since it has a set course and isn't a revision project and I'm proud of it because it's my first novella-length story (and it isn't even finished yet--huzzah!). The only thing I hate is that now with a very set plot, I feel like I'm rushing through pieces of it and will have to go back and add more to them later.
And so that is what I hopefully will be going to do after I submit this entry. Hopefully. As long as my phone doesn't ring again, like it does every time I sit down to work on Cerulean.
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