| | Last night I had a dream about you. I had somehow gone back in time, and I was at the mall with you and a decently large group of other people around the DDR machine. I don't remember most of what happened, but when I saw you coming up to the group that pang of sadness kind of hopped up and left me, but only enough so that it could come back later. I hugged you and didn't want to let go. I wanted to ask for your phone number, so I could text or call you the night you died and tell you to put your seatbelt on before the accident. Then later, when I guess you must have left, I was sitting with my mom at some outside food court and we were talking about it. I know that if I could go back in time and try to change what happened, it could change a lot of things. But if I failed, I would have to experience the loss and that initial shock all over again. I'm still not okay as it is, I don't think I could handle it again. I would risk all that to have you with us today, walking and smiling and playing DDR. I bet if you were alive today, the DDR machine wouldn't still be out of order, because there'd be reason to fix it. So much is wrong without you here.
I don't think I'll ever really be okay.
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| | Posted 5/31/2009 2:11 PM - 12 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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